Thursday, September 9, 2021

Triple Header of Crap Movies

One day, BE (Before Ed), I was in an odd mood. I went to Blockbuster and rented a triple header: Dune, Supergirl (the movie) and Two of a Kind. The check out guy looked at me oddly and rang them up. After a bit of staring from him, I had to say "I'm having a horrible movie marathon."

To that he smile and said, "Well then you got the right movies!"

For those of you that blacked these movies out in your mind, let me help remind you. Two of a Kind came out in December of 1983, and Dune and Supergirl both came out in 1984. It was a tough 12 months for movies.

Two of a Kind


This was suppose to be a blockbuster reteaming of John Travolta and Olivia Newton John - for the first time since Grease. It was so bad that it was a bullet to both careers for years. It wasn't just bad, it was spectacularly bad. First, it starts with Angels talking about how God wants to have a new flood and start over again with humanity. (Didn't the rainbow promise that would never happen again?)

Then God says that in order to save the world, John Travolta - a bank robber and Olivia Newton John - the bank teller, must fall in love. The LA Weekly review was hilarious. The only line I remember were "Newton John and Travolta's chemistry is that of two people physically repulsed by the opposite sex."

However, I did love ONJ's song, Twist of Fate. (See the video at the bottom of this post).

Dune


A muddled mess of a movie that temporarily killed the careers of Kyle MacLachlan (5 years before any more significant work, then in Twin Peaks) and David Lynch as a Movie Director after 2 more bombs in 4 years (once very 2 years) consisting of Blue Velvet and Wild at Heart.

Dune was simultaneously ponderous and confusing, not to mention impossibly darkly lite (to compensate for the "special effects", where special is the right word, but not good special - more short bus special. A fine supporting case was wasted, supporting a decidedly not fine Kyle MacLachlan, "playing" a teen ager. the movie calls him a "young man".

Sting has a cameo has the bad cousin who tries to kill Kyle.



Supergirl


The only truly fun bad movie on the list. It ruined lead actress Helen Slater's career, she was never a lead again. Faye Dunaway was terrible - but no one expects much more of her. Hart Bochner, in the Damsel in Distress role, who's career was on the rise, aw his options shrink. On the other hand Brenda Vacarro steals the show WHILE riding a closed carnival ride through the Tunnel of Love.

Peter O'Toole ( as Vor El) only saved himself by appearing in two scenes, one right at the beginning before you know it is a stinker.




Strange Twist of Fate Music Video  after Jump

So you want to see Olivia Newton John singing to a heavenly judge and jury? Olivia in a Princess Diana hair cut? And why are the judge and jury levitating in neon over a shallow pool of water.


4 comments:

  1. I love supergirl everyone in its so creepy - Lisa

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    Replies
    1. Yes. Laughable creepy. And really really bad acting.

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  2. Sharon and I were working at The Burbank Studios at the time Two of a Kind was being filmed. They were doing a night shoot on one of the backlot city streets. We were so excited because of Grease. We stayed late and hung around while they were shooting. We saw them both between scenes. Then we saw the movie. Sigh, disappointment is too small a word to describe it. I'm not sure if Olivia could ever appreciate how big a fans her first, American live audiences were. Grad night at Disneyland.... we honestly loved her.

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  3. My favorite indicator that this would be bad was the montage as they walked around New York's Soho. And it was Main Street in Ocean Park, Santa Monica.
    And we did honestly love her!

    ReplyDelete

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