I tend to see things in a worse way when depressed. Let me say at the outset here, I am not depressed. I am saddened by what's going on, but not in that "I ate too much wheat and am despondent" way.
This sadness is more in the "I saw this coming and could do nothing to stop it" kind of way. Today the NY Times had a story from a woman who was a ranger in Yosemite in the 1990s. She took her nearly adult sone to see Yosemite, the place she worked, loved and idolized. (I feel much the same about Yosemite, albeit I never worked there.) In any case, the trip was bittersweet; scorched earth, the end of the two glaciers in the park, dry meadows and trickles of falls (although it was July, the falls are pretty low in July in most cases).
I have talked about climate change, seen it coming, yelled and still could accomplish nothing. Snow packs dry up, rivers fall, we still don't build reservoirs designed for this new normal, fires rage, hundreds die from heat and fires, millions are displaced. And we still argue over the reality of climate change because massive donors find profitable inaction preferable over reaction much less proactive action. It wrecks me that we have done nothing. And now we are losing animals (the greatest extinction in the shortest time in history), losing nature and beginning to lose our way of life. And still... Crickets.
And then there is our political inaction. I don't need to go back through this. Over fours years ago I recommended a book called "On Tyranny"- it's more of a pamphlet really. Many of its warnings have come to pass.
We had an election that has been delegitimized, our Capital was unsuccessful stormed by our own citizens and millions of millions of people still worship at the alter of Trump. Who doesn't believe in Climate Change, rule of the law or common decency to women and minorities.
Then... we've watched (watched with our own eyes) our black and brown citizens killed, incarcerated for years - often held for years before a trail for a minor infraction and harassed. And our reactions were confined to marches and screams that accomplished nothing.
What does this inaction say about me. It's not that I don't care about other's opinions and actions, it hurts me to see this and I feel powerless.
And finally for today, I see over 600,000 dead in our country from a pandemic that did have to be this bad and is getting worse through misinformation from politicians who can't admit being wrong and a cult of personality from a man who wants accolades for developing the vaccines and who tells others it isn't needed. Millions and millions of more have died world wide, while our citizens die through their own choice but won't release millions of life saving doses of vaccine on the off chance they change their mind.
So yeah, I am saddened by the world today. I wish I had an answer besides running away and hiding - an ineffective coping mechanism, but really what's the alternative.