Sunday, November 27, 2022

Does Anyone Remember that old Joan Rivers joke about Elizabeth Taylor

So there was an old, and mean, joke Joan Rivers used to tell about Elizabeth Taylor when she was fat. Now, this was another time (pre both Liz' and Joan's work on AIDs) and Liz stated she didn't mind, but still..

Anywho it went, "Elizabeth Taylor is the only person who can watch her food in the microwave and scream FASTER."

I was reminded of this when I read about THIS lawsuit. A woman is suing Velvetta because it takes longer than 3 1/2 minutes to make. Now she does not argue that it takes more than 3 1/2 minutes to microwave, but that time does not include the time to pull the lid off the cup and pour in the cheese mixture.

Yes, really...


She wants $5 million dollars.

HIALEAH, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida woman is suing the Kraft Heinz Food Company for $5 million, claiming they misled the public about the time it takes to prepare Velveeta microwavable mac and cheese cups.

Court records show that a West Palm Beach-based law firm filed the lawsuit on behalf of a Hialeah woman in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida on November 18.

Amanda Ramirez is listed as the main plaintiff for the class-action suit, which alleges Kraft Heinz violated federal law by saying Velveeta Shells & Cheese cups take 3½ minutes to prepare.

“Ready in 3½ minutes” is printed on the box, which is the amount of time the product takes to cook in a microwave. However, the suit says it takes more time to complete the other required steps.

This is how the lawsuit describes the cooking process:

  • “First, consumers must ‘REMOVE lid and Cheese Sauce Pouch.’
  • Next, they must ‘ADD water to fill line in cup. STIR.’
  • Third, ‘MICROWAVE, uncovered, on HIGH 3-1/2 min. DO NOT DRAIN.’
  • Finally, they should ‘STIR IN contents of cheese sauce pouch.’
  • Defendant then notes that ‘CHEESE SAUCE WILL THICKEN UPON STANDING’.”

“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.”

The lawsuit claims Ramirez bought the product for a “premium price” of $10.99 “between October and November 2022, among other times.” However, it did not say how long it actually took Ramirez to prepare the mac and cheese.

The suit described Ramirez as someone who “looks to bold statements of value when quickly selecting groceries”, and “like many consumers who seek to stretch their money as far as possible when buying groceries.”

The plaintiffs are seeking at least $5 million in damages, “including statutory and punitive exclusive of interest and costs.”

News Channel 8 has reached out to the Kraft Heinz Food Company for comment about the lawsuit.


  1. And her damages were what? The attorney that filed the lawsuit should be disbarred and the woman ... well does she really want to look that stupid publicly?!

    1. Apparently the thought of easy money overruled her thoughts about looking like an ass


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