I could be an advice columnist here

 People write in for asinine reasons. Let me take a tour of today's questions highlighted:

Answers starting from Upper Right, then clockwise:

Help! Can I use my dead wife's vibrator with my new girlfriend?

No. You're an idiot.

Help! I want to ban my friend's obnoxious husband from out social circle.

Good luck with that. But your friend my choose her husband over you.

Help! I can't help judge my friend for choosing to be a single mom.

You're free to judge her. Silently! If you can't be happy she finally decided to become a mother, then you aren't a friend.

She said it was similar to asking if a woman was pregnant. (explanation - after couple announced they were engaged at a party, the guy asked if how it happened, and  then said "your parents must be so happy." To which the bride said, "not really". The guy's girlfriend then went off how he should not have asked.)

No, it's not rude to ask an innocuous question at a party where the engagement is announced.

Help! I thought my sister and I were alike. But she's mislead me for years.

Not telling you if she is straight or gay is not "misleading" you. And trying to trick her into outing herself is stupid and cruel.

TA DA!