A Dream of a Role Made Nightmare

A young Dame Maggie Smith in the
unsaid role.

Last night I subjected myself to one half of one of the worst shows I have seen in quite some time. I paid, so I do not feel it incumbent on myself to review it. And, since it was opening night and can only get better, I do not want to trash it - on the (very) off chance someone might see this.

However, within the parameters I have set, I will say, oh. my. God. That was bad! It is a rather famous Oscar Wilde play built on witty banter, missed opportunities and the inanity of Victoria English morals. As with many Wilde stories, the Victorian Age is personified through the use of an aged woman who is both imperious and farcical. 

Over time, said role has been played by many - it is often said to be a dream role. Last night, to strain a metaphor greatly, it was more of a nightmare.

The (un)said character was played by a woman whose unfamiliarity with English Language was only matched by her inability to remember the most basic of lines. One must ask, though one cannot frame it in a Victorian fashion, who did she fuck to get the role?

She was so bad, in fact, she had a two attendants who played the role of Greek chorus behind here to feed her lines when she could not remember them, which was often. The few lines she did remember were delivered with all the feeling (and timing) of an ostrich that wandered upon the stage. It started humorously as the audience thought she was going through some stage fright, not the onset of dementia. But as her performance never improved it brought the play downward in the same slow motion one saw in the hot air ballon crash last week in New Mexico.

Since the show had been reworked to be more LGBT inclusive, her two line feeders were half nakid gay men in heels, leather trunks and fans. It was most annoying. The men, one black and one asian, seemed to be nearly the sum total of men of color in the show. And odd choice where the two women to be pursued were both played as male roles.

In short, I left the theater at the break, which I know was rude, but I was afraid I would soon be sighing out loud (okay, out loudER) and it was time to go, despite a major rainstorm which inhibited the possibility of grabbing a taxi.