Sundays

Sundays are just for me... and blowing off steam

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Terrified (or Worried, depending on the day)

My bipolar symptoms and mood swings are getting worse. Pity Ed for a moment.


Okay, moment over. So Ed has helped me a lot, but now I have to go to a doctor to get new meds. I have been on an anti-depressive (Effexor) for a long time and it worked well. Then less well. Now, not very well. Therefore, next week I am going to a new nut-doctor. I am apprehensive to terrified, depending on the moment.

I definitely want to get better. But I do not relish the idea of trying drugs to see what works and what does not work.

I have tried Paxil - which I LOVED because it may me fun-high, but didn't love because it made me fall asleep without any warning. After falling asleep in traffic twice (including 1 accident) Eddie put the kibosh on Paxil. 

I have also tried Prozac. It kind of works. But I used to not need it too much (I thought) and I would forget to take it. But it did kill my appetite so maybe that is good.

Th number 1 treatment seems to be Lithium still. I am terrified of Lithium. Not so much the drug itself, as the side-effects. Now, I know that a lot of my trepidation is from my grandfather, who was on Lithium but hated it. But, crazy or not, everything he hated is listed as a side-effect, so he wasn't just paranoid (plus that doesn't seem to be a side-effect).

Long story short, stay tuned, we are all in for a fuck of a ride.




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