And now, that is what she will be forever.

Forgive me while I start with a an analogy. Better Midler said - in more than one interview - that she regretted starting her career in a gay bathhouse (her first gigs in New York were at a gay bathhouse in the 1970s - Barry Manilow was her accompanist). Maybe not doing it, but at least sharing that information. Not for any reason, she said, except every article started with that fact. She was sure her obituary would read "Bette Midler: Dead. Started Her Career at the Continental Baths". 

Yesterday, during the hearings about the insurrection at the Capital, Alexandria Ocazio-Cortez (AOC) said she had survived sexual assault. And compared the trauma with that to the trauma of being held int eh Capital while people tried to find her and kill her.

But the headline ignores the comparison she was trying to make and focussed instead on her being a sexual assault survivor. And now always will.

If you ever watched her while she questions anyone at a Congressional Hearing, you would have seen a young, brilliant woman who did her homework, fillet any uncooperative witnesses. She is smart, talented and ready for every committee meeting every day. You may not agree with her, but you have to admire her brilliance at cutting through the bullshit.

But now men - and men rule the Capital, the media and the government - will get to diminish whatever she says. It's not right, but every thought will now start with, well, her assault probably trigger that.  And her outrage over government grifters, cheats and liars, will just read angry at men.

If we use Bette Midler and her bathhouse as a yardstick, people will forget this in about 30 years. Long enough that her critics now will get a pass.

This isn't fair, and shouldn't be the case in America, but... articles will soon start, "AOC, sexual assault survivor, says..." And the press will say that it is a way to put her comments into context. Which really means, give men a reason to ignore her female ravings.

I feel terrible for her. Sharing this memory no doubt made sense in the moment, alone over zoom. And no one has the right to tell her when or how to share her story. But she lost control of her own narrative now, I am afraid. And that is hard on her, and hard on anyone other woman that goes through this.

I hope I am completely wrong her, because I admire AOC. I respect her work, her commitment to an honest and fair government. I watch her questioning and I listen to her excellent arguments.