Memories: Kelbos

I have often discussed my parents bickering. To the point that some people may wonder were they ever happy? Of course there were times of fun. THE BEST of times was taking an afternoon to go to Kelbos.

My happiest moments, when my parents were still married, were when I was called to the principal's office, only to have my parents waiting there to "take me to the doctor's" and we would play hooky and have lunch at Kelbo's.

Kelbo's was, for a 6 or 7 year old, a fascinating world of South Sea Island delight. At Kelbo's drink's came in old coconut bowls, sometimes on fire!, and "Lapu Lapu"bowls of sweet, disgusting cocktails and Poopu platters of egg rolls, spare ribs and dill pickles would take up most of the table. I loved Kelbo's.

And I would continue to love Kelbo's for many many years. I celebrated getting into Grad School at Kelbo's. And, on one particularly wonderful birthday of mine, we had a huge Kelbo's table with friends and Rob Smith made a 3 story tower of goldfish bowls (with goldfish) for the centerpiece. Lynn took the goldfish home. And Todd's little brother (now an adult with his own kids) was about 12 when we let him drink with us there. and his face showed the same glee mine did at the time. Now Kelbo's was a place he remembers fondly. 

One particular happy day I was there with Lauren and others, and we were drinking when they brought a new type of large flaming drink for the table, but it didn't taste right. So Lauren and I cogitated on it (which is always a fun thing with a couple of bombed people try to figure something out) and finally realized how to fix it. I remember the interaction:

Lauren "Excuse me. Excuse me, Miss."

Scott "Hellooo, waitress!"

An annoyed and tired waitress shuffles over to the table of 30ish drunks, puts on her best plastic smile, and says "yes?"

Scott "Yes, thank you. We have decided what is wrong with this cocktail." (Turns to Lauren)

Lauren "Yes, can you please bring us a 1/2 sized Mai Tai Bowl"

Scott "But don't light it on fire!"

Lauren "Right! No fire! We'e going to put that drink in this one to fix it."

Waitress, shaking her head slowly (probably in sadness at our future hang-overs) "Ooo kay."

Scott "Don't worry, We know what we are doing..."

Lauren "... we are professional bartenders."

Kelbo's outlasted most other Polynesian restaurants in LA (except Trader Vic's - but there was very little Polynesian by the end of Trader Vic's) and held on for a long time, well into the 1980s. 

For a few years it was pure Los Angeles as only we can do it. There was an old dance floor and theater area in a different room dressed to look like you were inside a giant Coconut - it was Under The Coco Bowl. And there was a time in the mid-80s where you could have a truly crazy ass experience. 

Under the Coco Bowl was old time Big Band standard by then, with very dressed up elderly people (like in their 50s / 60s / 70s) would go and dance on Saturdays and Sundays. Then there was the Polynesian dining area with south sea music. And, after about 9:30 the bar (on the far side of the restaurant, far from the Coco Bowl) turned into a New Wave club with new wave kids.  In between, I would bring loud groups of friends who ate poopu platters (and questioned why there were dill pickles on the plate) and drank many large flaming drinks .

The most fabulous place to be (but not hang out, I'm not a creep) was the Rest Rooms. There, Polynesian music played as old guys in suits took swigs from the flasks (which was done because the drinks were very over-priced), 80's club kids did lines of cocaine and the basic restaurant goers wondered what the hell they walked into. You haven't lived until you're a little buzzed, watching old guys and super young 80's kids exchange swigs for lines.

Ahh. Kelbo's was LA at its best!