... but this guy might take the cake.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I’m a 43-year-old guy. My father is in his 70s, and he had a health scare recently. He’s doing all right now, but he wanted to update his will and make some funerary plans. Dealing with the inheritance stuff was unpleasant but I suppose normal in a way. But when it came to what he wanted done with his body after he passes, I’m not sure what to do.
He doesn’t want to be buried. Or cremated. Or have his body donated for scientific or medical purposes. No, what he wants is to be decapitated, his skull cleaned out, and have the rest of his remains processed into two memorial diamonds. He wants those diamonds stuck into his empty eye sockets and to be put on the mantlepiece of MY home, so he can “watch his grandkids and any other descendants that might live there.” He’s done all the homework on this too, found companies for the various sorts of processing, and double-checked with an attorney to make sure that this is legal where we live. (It unfortunately is.)
I don’t know what to do. I do want to honor his wishes. But this is so morbid and weird. I don’t think it would be a good thing for my family to look up in the living room and go “Yep, there’s my old man, watching us from beyond the grave.” I’m honestly considering just telling him I’ll do it and then when he’s gone simply having him cremated. He’ll never know the difference, right? But that also feels wrong, and I think I do owe him enough to honestly say I can’t honor that wish. What can I do here?
—What the Actual Hell
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