We are going way back....
When Trump was first elected, my freak out was corralled by the advice of a woman who fled Communist Eastern Europe. She said "decide what indicators would choose you to leave the country before something bad happened."
Well I did that and listed my triggers. But I have to now explain to myself why I haven't left. And I mean besides the easy answer of I will not leave without Ed.
The primary excuse is that most of my triggers have not occurred WHERE I live. I live, lived, and want to live in blue states. And most of this shit hasn't happened in blue states. Don't get me wrong, the worst of the Supreme Court rulings do effect me (the second worst ruling - after Dobbs gave men control of women's bodies - is due tomorrow), but they do not effect me nearly as much as people living in red states.
So, until the evil gets closer, I am happy living here. It might be that I am brave to fight to change this in the country. OR, it might be I am a coward and a hypocrite - content that as long as my rights are okay that is all.
Ed obliquely made reference to this the other day. We were talking about Florida and I said I wouldn't move there. He said that was not true (albeit in more colorfully language) and I was overestimating my resolve. It is a moot point because Florida is not in our cards by mutual agreement, but I wondered if he is right. Is my righteousness all a big fat show?
In reality, it doesn't matter if it is a show or not. The fact that the man I trust the most thinks I am untruthful in this. In point of fact, he knows me best. So maybe I am full of shit. Or maybe in love and willing to compromise.
Anyway - that is where we are. I am trying to justify my actions against being a hypocrite. I am not stupid enough to prove I am not a hypocrite by sabotaging my relationship. So I kind of feel bad about myself - being weak willed. But, what are you going to do? If I can't be honest in accepting judgements on my actions, I shouldn't box myself in.