Saturday, February 11, 2023

Occasionally Advice Columns Give the Right Advice

Dear Prudence, 

I’m struggling. I’m feeling a strong connection to the Amish, and I would love to dig deeper into this feeling. I feel the urge to join them, but I feel as though it is disrespectful and I’m not sure I am ready. I also don’t want to be judged by my friends and family for converting to the Amish lifestyle. AND I really love having a phone and car and shower and makeup and cute clothes, so is there a way that I can join the Amish but keep everything I already have? I basically just want to farm and not pay taxes. HELP!!!!

— Amish Wannabe

Dear Amish Wannabe,

Look, I get it. Life in 2023 is expensive and draining. What I’m hearing in your letter is a feeling of being overstimulated, overwhelmed, and desperate to unplug and simplify your existence. But leave the Amish out of it! They are busy, and don’t need you and your cute clothes complicating their lives. It sounds like you could use a one-week camping trip. Try that and reevaluate.

I can’t help you with the taxes.

"I want to be Amish. But with better clothes. And a cell phone."


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I am pretty sure this has been paraphrased