Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Alternate Title: How to Lose Friends and Elections

 What?! Bill de Blasio giving advice? But then I read the article and I see the genius of his suggestions:

1. Never be on time. No matter what an ass people think you are, you know you are more powerful.

2. Fight with the police and call the police that work in our ports, airports and subways "rent-a-cops". That will go over big with the law and order crowd.

3. Tell citizens it's okay to defecate in the street. That has worked great for us New Yorkers!

4. Disappear for weeks at a time. Absence makes the hearts grow fonder.

5. Give Jill Biden a much bigger role. A much much bigger role. People loved it when I put Chirlane in charge of the city's multi-million art enrichment program. 

6. And, just one more, stop with the humble act. I told everyone what a freaking genius I am, and look how that worked for me.


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About sums it up