Shelly' Story moves into 3rd

In my mind, there are great stories from / about friends. Usually these are about the reactions and actions of friends in situations I would be very uncomfortable in. 

In this time of Covid and anger, I can remember them and smile. And, of course, I have a top three. I will note all of them below, but here is Shelly's first:

The new third best: in her own voice:

I got yelled at in a hair salon last week for asking the two unmasked haircutters if they had been vaccinated.  One of them spit out the words "YOU CAN'T ASK ME THAT!". I said "I just did."  And she was quick to retort while backing away from me, "I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER!".  So I left with my ratty-looking hair and went home.

The second best is from my mother. Now I must set the scene a bit, or she seems kind of bitchy. While I was in college, my mom and her family at home (her husband and three kids) were being transferred from Hawaii to North Carolina., so she is already stressed with moving. She flew first and her family came on a military arrainged flight about 2 hours later.

About a week before she was to come, I asked her if we could get a drink "and talk". Which is college age speak for, I'm going to tell you something I am afraid you don't want to hear. The talk, by the way, went fine. We had a drink at the Theme Building at LAX and I told her my big secret and she was unsurprised and very good about it. FYI - my BIG secret was I was gay. Which, somehow did not come as a shock to her.

And here is where the story comes in. 

This was, like, 1979-ish, and so public rules had recently been changed. We were in the parking lot elevator, as I was going to put her bags in my car for a little while. We are standing, a bit nervously with others in the elevator, and I thought was not the time to bring this up. My mother was also a bit nervous as we took the slowest elevator in the world up to the 4th floor. My mother did what many people did at the time and lite a cigarette. A younger woman in the elevator said, in a quite bitchy voice. "You can't smoke in the elevator!" My mother took a big drag, exhaled and said, "It appears I can."

The best story is quick and needs very little introduction, just a sense of humor. I was at a party with friends (a bunch of gays, day drinking). I was in the kitchen with Rob and Patrick. Rob had been with Patrick for a few years, but before that he was ... okay, a slut. So we are in the kitchen and...

This guy walks into the room with a few of us there. Sees Rob and with a huge dramatic sigh says, "Rob Smith. I wondered what I'd do when I saw you again." Rob handed him a cocktail and said, "Not make a scene, I hope" and twirlled out.