Eurovision Semi-Final 1

Running Commentary on Eurovision Semi-Final 1. Feel free to ignore (it's long).

Each act opens on empty tiny house / stage, that is slowly populated with more intimate and personal touches so you can learn a little about each on.

1. Lithuania: Discotheque The yellow outfits and jerky dance moves can’t help but make you think of Curious George on cocaine.  Camp / Staging Factor : 8 Song: 6 (fun but forgettable). MY Total 14 (tied for 5th)

2. Slovenia: Amen Love the scarf. Power ballad with blond girl singing with a deep voice. Sounds like it is going to rock up to disco levels multiple times, but never does. Camp Level 3 (1 point for making a Mona Lisa with her face in the intro). Song: 4 Feel bad, she wants more audience interaction, but the audience is limited for this show. MY Total 7

3. Russia. Russian Women Pottery opening was weird - because this definitely is NOT Ghost. Well, this odd. The singer is being moved around in a giant dress, then pops out in overalls to rap in Russian – I think about Russian Women being fierce, but I am not sure. Camp 8 (was 7, but the Fire added the extra point). Song: 8 Russian Rap is oddly interesting. MY Total 16 (tied for 3rd)

4. Sweden. Voices  Interesting staging. Black woman with interesting song and dancing, but kind of flat. Camp Factor 5 (not camp, but nice staging) Song: 7 MY Total 12

5. Australia Technicolor Apparently Home of Sporty Women (R) . Quick impression: Alana Morissette via techo LGBT / APAI human shaped robot. Camp Factor: 5 (camp but no fun) Song: 4 – go K-Pop or don’t, but don’t half ass it. MY Total: 9

6. North Macedonia Here I Stand He sings a ballad, so he has to show that he is butch by his rock climbing. Song is VERY Broadway. Camp factor starts low, but improves as his outfit reveals a half-cape AND disco-balled shirt (really). Camp Factor: 5 Song: 4. MY Total: 9

7. Ireland: Maps Blond, cute in intro, but bland in real life . She is running on a treadmill (?) with bizarre purple CGI props she moves out of the way. Later runs around barefoot. Like Slovenia tries to pump up a crowd Camp Factor: 3 Song: 4 MY Total: 7

8. Cyprus Cute punk gal, but pictures of her child and husband so you know she is not a lesbian.  El Diablo. Camp Factor: 8 straight up Kylie Minogue / Miley Cyrus clone. Song: 8 (soo disco). MY Total: 16 (tied for 3rd)

9. Norway: Fallen Angel Horrible staging. He’s dressed as semi- in sparkle jumpsuit, faux-fur coat, angel wings and chains attached to 4 devil dancers. Camp Factor: 5 (trying too hard) Song: 4 MY Total: 9

10. Croatia Tic-Tok Fun Oh look, someone found a use for the old Star-girl outfits! Male dancers outfits make them look fat with semi-assless camps that don’t fit!  Camp Factor: 7 (doesn’t quite work). Song: meh 5. MY Total: 12

11. Belgium: The Wrong Place The camera moves in a circle, and the poor singer takes these tiny baby steps to get in focus. Uncomfortable. Camp Factor; 4 Song: 5. MY Total: 9

12. Israel Set Me Free This female drag queen has hair that must be seen to be believed. Backed up by ballet break dancers (kind of her background). Camp Factor: 9 she changed outfits DURING the song! Song:8 I kind of loved it. MY Total: 17 (tied for 1st)

13. Romania: Not Alone. Dull Goth and dry ice. Camp Factor: 4 Song 4 MY Total: 8

14. Azerbaijan: Mati Hari. Oh my. She does dominatrix goes disco with crystal tipped shoulder pads! She is setting back feminism about 10 years per minute of this song. Camp Factor: 8 (hair flipping AND fire) Song: 8 (disco with a middle east edge). MY Total: 16 (tied for 3rd)

15. Ukraine: Go_A What the Hell!.  In a faux winterscape a woman screams at us while a boy plays the pan-flute wearing a shower curtain. And two dancers hit light-tambourines. Exhausting Camp Factor: 8 Song: 6 (ends with a yodel). MY Total: 14 (tied for 5th)

16. Malta (my pre-show favorite). Je M Casse Fab U Lous! I was so entranced, I couldn't trash it. Camp Factor 8 Song 9 MY Total: 17 (tied for 1st)

In the wrap up for the Semi-Final. To 10 go on. Th ten were:

(in Random order)

• Norway
• Israel
• Russia
• Azerbaijan
• Malta
• Lithuania
• Cyprus
• Sweden
• Belgium 
• Ukraine

Croatia was robbed!